My Parents Hit 30 Years of Marriage: Find a Vision
Children learn how to have relationships by watching others. Behind the Huxtables, your parents serve as the most influential model. My girl has taught me a lot about the impact parents have on the relationships of their children. I could get into those details, but for now I just want to think about where they are now. What will it be like when I get there? Do I want what they have? What will it take?
Like anything, I guess a vision of some sort should shape your relationship. All improvements start with that. That vision takes you through a lot.
- Courtship (2 years) - The love is intoxicating. You spend hours in conversation discovering her every facet. All day in each others arms is never enough. Don’t forget that wild and passionate sex!
- Just 2 (5 years) - Its just the two of you. Your identity is shaped as half of a whole. You learn your lovers true interests and form new ones together. The friendship develops as you enjoy disposable income and have lots of fun starting to build something.
- Parents (20 years) - A lot of things happen here. Your love reaches a new level of selflessness. Your time together is valuable. Your bonds grow as you experience life’s early stages from the other side of the glass. Team work!
- 50, the new 20 (20 years) - You are free from the responsibilities of parenting AND have disposable income! I can’t even fathom what this could be. You have energy and can turn it to your real interests, like travel, philanthropy, and grand kids–all together. This is a great chance to rediscover each other.
- Growing old together (? years) - This is a fun thing to imagine. With your health intact, you know her every move and thought. You’ve lived a full life and can only look back in satisfaction at what you’ve built and where you’ve been. You know your time will come, and hope that it will happen together.
That was a bit more detail than I expected to write (U2’s “One” pushed me). Just chokes ya up and makes you feel all mushy and stuff. Not to mushy though. I know my remarks are a bit optimistic. Relationships are not easy and take work. I know my relationship role models don’t always feel what I’ve described. I’m feeling to good to address that right now.