Love This Girl

If your relationship is anything like mine, you are the one fixing the computers. She might be into computers, but most guys I know are the tinkerers. Here are some great tips to use in protecting her identity.

1. Avoid public computers for shopping, checking email, or using any site that asks for your personal information. If you must, logout, clear cookies, delete cache and your browser history. Use After Work.
2. Use complicated passwords. Add a number, special character, or mixed case to your password.
3. Do not reveal personal information to strangers (e.g. people met in chat rooms, by email, etc.).
4. Do not use sites that offer rewards for personal information such as address, phone and gender.
5. Do not respond to spam.
6. Do not post your email address on web pages.
7. Do not send personal information through email (it is not secure!). This includes credit cards and other account numbers.

Some of this information was taken from privacy for the computer savvy and privacy top 12.

Katarmi - “sweet, but good you get any gayer?” - hah, watch that one!  The delicate balance between being caring and sounding gay. We know our girls like us sweet, but they also like us because we are rough and tough, kick some ass men.  OK, a little rough at least.

TechCrunch had an interesting look into the stages of marriage, based on the web site service you are most likely using.

There are sites that help people plan for marriage, like the $400+ million market cap TheKnot.com. And when the time comes, BabyCenter, a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson, will help them through the process of having a baby. There’s even Caring.com, which helps people plan for aging and death.

Enter the exit plan maker, Divorce360.com.

I’ve been through a divorce and it was ugly. It’s a necessary evil though. I believe divorce can be a good thing, but will fight with all of my energy to never let it happen again.

Today I got acupuncture for the first time.  It was at the recommendation of my girlfriend.  She is into a lot of alternative remedies, and even practices it herself. I’ve been suffering from a condition, and was willing to try anything despite my internal skeptic.

They stuck a needle under my balls!!!!

It was unexpected.  My cheeks were spread and before I could react, I had a sharp stinging pain right above the family jewels.  I survived that and a lot more needles all over my body.

I felt pretty good the rest of the day.  My girlfriend later told me that hitting that point is good for your sex drive, maybe that’s why.

Reading minds is a super-power that I hope to develop some day.  Sounds like a gypsy fairy tale, but some researchers out of San Francisco have made it a Science.  Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen created FACS, the Facial Action Coding System.  By studying each of the muscles in the face and their corresponding movements, they were able to document every anatomically possible facial expression.  There are  over 10,000 facial expressions!

Amazingly, a persons facial expressions consistently betray their emotions.  This means that if you know the system well, you can accurately determine the emotional state that a person is in.

It supposedly takes a few weeks to master, but the pay-off is immense. Know what your co-workers are thinking, or even catch someone in a lie.  You know all those times when your girl tells you its OK but then gets upset that you went ahead and did it?  Let’s face it, sometimes women don’t communicate on purpose, expecting you to know. Then you mess-up.  This would be great for all of those moments.

Ekman and Friesen also found that facial expressions also affect your mood.  So if you force a smile, you’ll eventually start feeling good.  My girlfriend said there is a type of Yoga that supports their research.  Funny how ancient arts don’t get validated in our minds until science comes along.

I learned this info from Blink, The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell.

Sergey Brin is co-found of Google. Anne Wojcicki is founder of 23andme. They got married back in May. They closely guarded the details of their wedding almost to the end.  Guests were asked to simply show-up for a ride on the Google jet.

These details about their relationship could be very interesting:

• Dinner conversation
• Pillow-talk - “Fred at the office really gets on my nerves”
• Arguments - what do they quibble over things?
• Money talk - do they even discuss this?
• Sex - do they even have time for it?

I find this interesting because their work is cool and they live ins such a different world then my girlfriend and me.

I think I’ll start doing little segments like this more often.  Next up, Lucy Southworth and Larry Page (the other Google royal family).

23andme.com will take your spit, extract the genetic data and analyze for a whole mess of information.  Some things you get from this information and their analysis tools:

• Calculate your odds of getting certain diseases (e.g. MS and Alzheimer’s)
• Uncover your ancestry - information about ethnicity, location, infamous and famous predecessors
• Discover where certain traits, such as athleticism, food preferences and sleep habits come from.
• Compare your genes to friends and family members
• Social and family networking could get very interesting (Facebook vs Genebook)

Pregnancy and parenting will change thanks to this service.

Pregnancy
If you are considering having kids, this has big implications. For just $2,000, you can get in-depth information about the risks you and your partner have in combining your reproductive juices.  Genetic counseling is an area that could see huge benefits in the near future.

Child-rearing
The company’s  privacy statement allows for children to get analyzed.  How will knowing my child’s genetic strengths and weaknesses change my parenting tactics?  What if a gene for chess wizards is discovered and my daughter has it?  Unless she played at some point, I would have never known to encourage her.

The potential to learn about yourself, your girl and your offspring is huge. There are also big privacy concerns.  I intend to do this at some point, and will gladly share my results here.

I dig this title. It sounds Neanderthal (as in club swinging and knuckle dragging). The image is comical, but the role of the man as protector was important. Is it still?

I saw Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto the other day. In it there is a Mayan man that must surpass deathly challenges in order to save his small family. This is all pretty typical of Mel Gibson: tough guys, who’ll give life-and-limb for their lovers and children. Every single Gibson movie has this theme in some fashion. I know women love it too. So man as protector is still a strong root of attraction.

Does this mean I have to fight others to impress my woman? No. The world has changed. “Protection” is just a limb on the tree of “provider”. She’ll deliver herself entirely if you provide for her physical, emotional and mental needs. Protector and provider go hand-in-hand.

Easy there Lancelot. It ain’t so easy as mindlessly invading her independence. She wants a protector and provider under certain circumstances. Don’t go around doing everything for her, it’s annoying.

Back to sex appeal and protection. She’ll love it if you protect her. I don’t want you to die, so here are some times when it works (and when it doesn’t).

Flight when…

• getting robbed (unless you have a bigger gun).
• overcharged by a couple of dollars at a restaurant. Cheap is not sexy.
• road-ragers target you. You watch reality TV, you’ve seen the videos.
• you are out-numbered.

Fight when…

• defending her honor. Even if you lose she’ll love you.
• mistreated by a service provider, company, etc. When she has a battle, step in as the big gun. It’s us against them baby!
• injustice has occurred. Use your brain on this one.

Seriously though, don’t die, and don’t listen to a guy that spends most of his day behind a computer (that’s me).

More reading:

• Is it Really so Bad to Want a Man - “Simply put, the boys are supposed to take care of the girls.”
• The Real Reason Good Girls Fall for Bad Guys
• The Dangers of Women Earning More then Their Men - some of us fall into this category. Is it that bad?
  

The book, is basically a long list of questions that will help you get to know your lover better. Here is an excerpt from Amazon’s write-up about Intellectual Foreplay:

… enhanced knowledge of their own and their partners’ beliefs, values, habits, desires, goals, likes, and dislikes; ideas for opening communication and deepening a relationship; skills for making healthy decisions about lifestyles and boundaries; an in-depth understanding of the role of self-esteem in relationships; increased ability to let go of the past and embrace the present; and the knowledge that it is important not only to choose the right partner, but also to be the right partner.

This book really stood out to me because my girlfriend and I maintain long distance relationship. The next step will involve some sacrifices. We both want to be sure we are ready.

Author Eva Escher Hogan’s web site goes into detail about the book.

I’ve been a bit heady lately. I feel like talking sex.

Foreplay. The word is almost scientific. Its that task that all sex-ed books and academic material express the benefits of. I used the word “task” for a reason. Too many of us guys see it this way. The dues you need to pay before you get the prize. If you see it this way, I guarantee you will be cutting yourself off in the long run.
Girls love this stuff. Whether its 10 seconds or 10 days. There’s no constraint on time and all focus on creativity. I like to focus on the play part. When we are physical, her body is my playground; I explore every inch. When I know I can’t touch her any time soon, I thrive in her fantasies. In fact, I strive to hear them all, collecting my deadly arsenal for future attacks.

Sometimes I like to think of it as a battle of the sexes. Women have infinite sexual energy. Guys, well, multi-orgasmic is for the lucky ones. My goal is to wear her out, and literally last longer. Try it some time. It will make you feel strong and dominant. Do everything but penetrate her. Use every part of your body to touch every part of hers. Make her beg. Maker her feel your dominance.

There is some good material on this topic on the web.

• Teasing, foreplay talk, role play - some fun pointers
• Heat Her Up (Men’s Health)
• The Importance of Foreplay (AskMen.com)
• Wikipedia on foreplay.
• Also at Wikipedia, outerplay (NSFW).  Tons of great ideas for physical touch.  Check out the “colloquialisms” section, it’s too funny!